When I was little my Nana told me that I was pretty. When I was a teenager she told me that I was smart. These days I’m pretty sure she has no idea what my job is, but she tells me that she is proud of me. All of these things contributed towards my confidence. I don’t think it was any one particular thing, but just a combination of support. I am blessed.
I spend a lot of time thinking about confidence. I coach a lot of friends on both professional and personal issues. The one thing that always surprises me is when I discover that strong, beautiful and wonderful people lack the confidence in themselves that comes so naturally to me. Sure, I have days when I’m not feeling “on,” but most days I believe in myself.
This list is how I define confidence. I didn’t put this list together just for me, it’s for all of the wonderful people that I know that might need a reminder of just how great they are.
- Confidence is feeling beautiful without make-up on.
- Confidence is defining your own happiness and not letting someone define it for you.
- Confidence is admitting when you are wrong.
- Confidence is helping others succeed without feeling threatened by them.
- Confidence is having the courage to start your own business when everyone tells you that you can’t do it.
- Confidence is feeling beautiful wearing a size 6 or 16.
- Confidence is admitting on your own blog that you wear a size 10.
- Confidence is being willing to stand up for what you believe in regardless of what other people think.
- Confidence is wearing what you want to wear and not what the fashion magazines say is hot.
- Confidence is knowing the difference between confidence and arrogance.
- Confidence is never settling for second best. Ever.
- Confidence is knowing that sometimes it’s OK to compromise as long as it’s not your values.
- Confidence is never feeling too young or too old to dream.
- Confidence is loving yourself for who you are.
- Confidence is SEXY!
I’d love to hear how you define confidence and if you can relate to the list above. If not, let’s talk about how you can believe that you are great too.
Delphia Consulting, LLC
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post, Jessica!
Thank you my friend. You embrace many of these qualities!
Fantastic post!
I think you’re pretty smart, J!
Lots of thought-provoking stuff in this list. I thought about this one a little more:
Confidence is being willing to stand up for what you believe in regardless of what other people think.
And I think that this should be a counterpoint:
Confidence is being unafraid to listen to what others believe, and even changing your mind if necessary.
Confidence is being willing to ask lots of questions without embarrassment, acknowledging out loud what we don’t know, and embracing what we can learn.
A great list here Jessica, thanks.
Confidence is most definitely sexy. The more confident one is, the more it shows and the more attractive it is.
Confidence is also pretty tricky to hold onto, I feel. You have to feed and nurture those things that help you stay confident, or you might find them waning.
Says I.
confidence is the engine that pushes you through doubt and fear.
Thanks Jessica.
What a great post! I love your list!!!
I also really like the one Graham added.
Great post Jessica, absolutely loved the opening para because thats how I’ve grown up.
Confidence to me is the ability to reach out to others, genuinely without agenda or intent
Wow, thank you all for the amazing comments and for teaching me a few more things. I am really touched by your feedback. I think that Graham’s suggestion is probably one of the hardest and most important to remember. That’s what makes a great leader.
And Chris, if it were easy to hold onto then it wouldn’t force us to improve every day.
Confidence to me is being able to think for myself (even if I turn out to be wrong)
Confidence for me is wearing flats on a date (I am 4’10″)
Confidence is knowing that at 42, I could lie about my age, but I don’t.
Confidence has to come from me, if it coming from outside myself, it is not real,and will soon be gone.
Thanks Nancy. I had this long conversation about age the other day with a friend. I think I might write about that soon.
Love this!
Never feeling too young or old to dream! More important than most of us think. I believe that our creative capacities are tapped more when we deliberately dream things up.. with the intention of actioning on and making things happen.
I like your implications of showing vulnerabilities; it lets people know you’re human. Great post Jessica.
Thanks Ryan. I am finding it interesting how different points are resonating differently with everyone. I love the feedback. And yes, I’m pretty sure that I am human…on most days.
Great post! I hope you do a follow up on this after you’ve observed confidence in others too…